I’d Prefer It If You’d Said The Opposite Thing

Who are you? When did you get
here? Were you here last week?
Did you sign in? Are you English?
Did I piss you off last week?
Because I was told I pissed some
people off last week. Didn’t I
explain this to you yet?
I didn’t? What time is it?
You mean I have to do this again?
Where’s that piece of paper?
You mean you don’t have it either?
That’s a snafu on my part.
Where were we? You just walked in.
Who are you? Alright. We have
a number of options. And I have
to tell you, they’re not all pleasant.
What did you say? Are you the one
I pissed off last week? Okay,
I’m sorry. I can’t be all sweetness
and light. Okay. Here’s the deal.

By Joshua Keiter

reader, writer, actor, singer, teacher