Joshua Keiter

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Questions:

Resurrection requires
a firm and unwavering
faith in the power
and reality of death

When in reality
there is nothing
that has any essence
other than emptiness

So there is no reason
to pay attention
to the first part
of the story

It will be over
as soon as it starts
If you don’t believe me
just try to

read this again.

I keep waiting to see someone I recognize
someone from the distant past
now that I have returned to my childhood home,
I’ll see someone I knew very well, perhaps
even my best friend, I’ve had dozens of them
although I didn’t know them very well
at the time, I’ll see them and they’ll see
me, and instantly I won’t recognize them,
they will pass through my consciousness
like so much broken glass, everywhere
and nowhere at once, something to brush
aside, not that their features are so different,
or that I haven’t seen some recent digital
artifact imprinted beneath the nondescript
blue of manufactured interconnectedness,
rather it will be such that the shock
of recognition will jar me back from the place
I called my isolation, the future, in place
of some schoolyard tire swing jungle gym
kickball frame of reference, not to say
I’m living where you will be when you grow up,
but to dream you alive once again, my memories
so much clearer now, I reinhabit the same rooms
I used to, now with a new coat of paint
they might as well be fresh canvas on which
reflected, I still see your face, still there,
however I trace with this crayon the ghost
of a tree, raw material deteriorating slowly
in a box of the attic behind a locked door,
cradled beside the bubble gum cards
and Fisher Price neighborhoods, wobbling
until they won’t fall down, this rabbit hole
curving in on itself, hello, haven’t I
been here before? Or was that someone else. Sorry.

If I had known enough to say
the things I meant to say

before all of this started
I would go back and say the things

that meant I wouldn’t have to say
the things I have to say

now that I have no words to say
just hypotheticals for instance

this never really happened
I’m going back to where I saw

the pavement in motion as river
reflecting lights that were there

only for a brief instant if that
then they were gone

just like this what
was it I was going to say?

Unlike every other
Mystery

We return to full
Moon

After three days of
Darkness

The sky become a
Mirror

Reflecting our own
Alienation

From ourselves and our
Birth

To believe the world
Resembles

Our own image
Crucified

When all the while we were
Resurrected

Perpetually in every
Moment

What could be ending instead
Begins

The universe is effectively infinite.
By that I mean the universe is uncountable.
Think of the billions of stars in the universe.
First of all you can’t.
There are the same number of connections in your brain.
That is, billions.
And you can’t think about them either.
Then think of the billions of people on this tiny planet that nevertheless feels pretty large.
Then there are the billions of light rays streaking through the thin atmosphere from the medium-sized bright singularity in what we think of as the sky.
And the universe goes on from there, except the scales increase exponentially.
How better it is to have a voice with which to speak, and ears with which to hear, if not listen, and fingers with which to count the measure of sounds, the rhythm that is beating unbidden in your chest, the rhythm that radiates outward into the universe, and inward into everybody, everywhere.
So it turns out there is no need for counting after all.
After all, the universe is already counting on us.

04/01/12
10:37 am

If never again
for a moment

let there be
a sun yearning

for the ground
as underneath we

grasp the blue
sky obscuring

the black stars
whose light

diminished still
even obliterated

has yet to reach
our lonely eyes

if not to know
at least to see.

Echo starts but never
stops

like a window broken with
pavement

outstretched beneath the tree
trying

to outsmart unsuccessfully the capricious
whims

of unintended consequence
did

you see the way the town is open now to
view

now that none of the buildings are
left

pictures strewn homeless uninhabited
drift

can’t get there from here there is
nowhere

used to be things seemed to be just
settled

a little more permanent now all that’s
gone

This morning the roof was leaking
and I swear I felt the electricity
in the air just before the thunder
and lightning struck at the same time

I expected to look out the window
to find a tree split open and
swaying precariously on the power lines
as torrential sheets of rain shuddered past

But instead I went back to sleep
hoping the books on my shelf stayed dry
when I awoke the sun was shining
and the air was too thick to breathe