Going Down on Laying Down the Law (Mythogram 5)

And so God decided that without any further ado he had better
spend some time reading this book that humans kept claiming was written by him
so he sat down and began doing the usual skimming back and forth at random that he does with books
and he was really kind of shocked at how much killing and pillaging and smiting he found
and the slicing off of bits of flesh that he considered really rather intelligently designed
and there was some groovy dude who showed up kind of like a deus ex machina in the back third of the book
and then for no apparent reason that section wound up kind of fantasy violent in the end too
but what really upset God and I mean this in no uncertain terms what really upset God
was this preoccupation with condemning human people of the same gender for laying down together
even though those passages were hard to find and obviously exaggerated for effect
and a quick scan of Google News confirmed that people were still rather hung up on those obscure passages
which really got God’s goat and he couldn’t understand it because apparently according to this same book he had made humans in his own image
and despite all their foibles and I mean seriously annoying and really embarrassing-to-fellow-deities foibles
he couldn’t help but love them as much as he loved himself and would lay down with them all if he got the chance