And in that year of hospitals And waiting room magazines And box cutters following me through the supermarket And the voices on the TV altered to alert my insecurities And the anxiety of a window And waking up countless times not waking up And thinking I had really only died that first night And never took a breath again after the opening darkness And all the world was waiting for death And I was holding up the line blocking the path And I was the destroyer of worlds the trees infinite and never returning from their eternal winter And pounding on flesh and car ceiling to restart the universe And waking to think she might be out there somewhere And only to wake a year later knowing she was gone And I was the only one who could put it right And knowing I failed I could not help but start again And love was the answer to death again just the same
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