I’ve been photoshopped again.
I’m not satisfied
with the photograph because
they airbrushed my face,
and now it’s blotchless and
speechless, even though
the lips are ajar,
slightly askew,
the eyes glaze into
the middle distance.
No one on earth
looks like this. That’s why
it’s so perfect. Only
in a photo can there be
no tears, no answer
to the question, the one
about why some live
and some are never
seen or heard from again.
We need to make sure
the experience does not
repeat itself.
Explanations
are obscene. They are still
identifying victims. They are holding
a person of interest. The number
hovers between thirty and thirty-three.
They are in the process
of notifying the families. It will be
days before we get some answers.
We bring you this broadcast tonight
with limited commercial interruption.
We interrupt this broadcast
to bring you this special news conference.
We cannot
provide that information at this time.
This has been a special report. We now
bring in a special consultant
who has been following the story since it broke.
It has been eight years to the week.
It has been twelve years.
It is the worst shooting on campus
in American history.
It is rightly called a tragedy,
a massacre.
Perhaps we can make some sense of this.
We should start a dialogue on violence
but we are focused on the specifics.
This is what happened.
Here is a victim in a sling.
Here is an EMT.
This was our campus. It was always peaceful.
Politically motivated, or solitary grudge.
Other connectivities. Terrorism involved.
Could there have been anything
anyone could have done
to prevent this.
Lockdown or isolated incident.
Domestic dispute.
How many doors did he chain.
Part of the ongoing investigation.
At this point
we don’t have anything on that.
To anticipate the criminal mind.
Put resources on the street.
Intercepting plans.
No one could have comprehended this,
prepared for this.
Generally beyond the scope.
It is going to take a long time to recover.
Pray for.
What is the point of you?
Not a matter to be
disseminated, but stranged.
The absolute directive.
Only a bus stop. Catch
as catch can, or all fall down.
You’d like this book, it’s got
your name written all over it.
Recommended reading list.
Listen. That’s not what I would
have chosen, if I were you.
There must be some other way
to settle this argument.
I’ve got my eye on the latest,
on the pulse. Don’t dissuade me.
Cheer up, there’s only a few
weeks to go. Can you imagine
how long it’s going to take me
to get through all of this.
Every time I finish something
it goes on the floor. No
two ways about it. So there.
If I told you the way the wipers didn’t work
on the way up from home today I would
concentrate on the spot where the drops
should shift and they didn’t shift they stayed
planted and I sped up the wipers sometimes
that would help and sometimes not but that
wasn’t the real trouble the real trouble was
the wind and the reckless drivers did you
know I saw three cars pulled over coming down
they must have been going 85 or more I don’t
understand why drivers go that fast I ask where’s
the fire and sure enough they get pulled over
and it’s moments like these I have to say
ha-ha out loud like The Simpsons bully
like the Ha-Ha Pizza Stand in Yellow Springs
Ohio I think in Equus the God of the boy
who put spikes in the eyes of the horses
that God was named Ha-Ha too at least
there’s no roadkill this time of year the weather
just isn’t conducive my first semester of grad
school a deer laid on the road a few miles
from my parents’ house I swear the stench
stayed for months and then one time it was gone
my bladder hurt something fierce coming up
because I drank so much coffee this morning
to keep me alert for the drive I knew it would
be a doozy but the coffee only made it worse
of course I stopped just when it got real bad
when it got real bad I stopped just in time.
My nephew spent the afternoon
pulling blocks from an old milk crate
identifying letters shapes & colors.
When he pulled an N, it was also a Z.
An E became 3, M figured W, 6 of course 9.
Two squares, a rectangle.
Two triangles, a square.
A thin red wooden cylinder served
as impromptu crayon, since the real
crayons were missing at the moment.
Every time I tried to stack
the blocks into a tower,
he struck them to rejoin the mess
accumulating on the floor. And when
he was finished tossing the blocks
back into the box, he started
taking them out again. Every chance
I got, I took a picture of him.
When it comes the light will wear a silver tooth.
When it comes the raindrops will change to windmills.
There are several explanations.
There are several misunderstandings.
When it comes all rocks will turn to silt and honey.
When it comes every mirror will reflect every other mirror.
There are several subterraneans.
There are several institutions.
When it comes even spring will split its face.
When it comes all memory will begin to flicker.
There are several traditions.
There are several administrations.
When it comes we will put a paper bag over our heads.
When it comes the facts will outweigh the mystery.
There are several decisions.
There are several dilutions.
When it comes the spark will flight in several directions.
This area has been fenced off.
You are not allowed in this area.
This area will be closed indefinitely.
We’re making improvements to this area.
This area’s overhaul is long overdue.
Just wait until you see this new improved area.
This area has a no trespassing sign attached to it.
There is no trespassing in this area.
This area will not be broken into.
We’ll catch the perpetrators of the break into this area.
This area’s size is expanding.
There will be no limits to this area.
This area will be unrecognizable.
You will need to do a double take upon viewing this area.
This area has been paved over.
Vehicles are not permitted through this area.
This area’s reconstruction has been postponed because of rain.
Have you seen the direction they’re taking this area.
This area may be traversed only by wearing a hard hat.
It has been precisely 27 days since a lost time accident in this area.
This area is well-known for its record of no incidents.
I wouldn’t let my child play for long in this area.
This area resembles a playground on a bad day.
Somehow this isn’t what I envisioned when I pictured this area.
This area is well-endowed.
We’re raising matching funds for this area.
This area has been neglected for far too long.
Will someone please tell me the way to this area.
That cloud on the stage
is only a prop. A piano chord
sounded, leaves it floating,
suspended in resonance.
In the next act we have
to change the set, something
about a bed tossed back
and forth across an open sea.
Under the stage lies the orchestra
pit. We haven’t used it in
decades because it swallowed all
the music, and we became
accustomed to sound. Like
the curtains in the back, they’ve
been tattered for awhile,
all those exits and entrances.
We’ve been meaning to take
all the seats out, so no one
can sit. If they wanted a respite
they would have to come down
and use the stage. A sort
of participatory drama, you
may have heard of it. That’s
what the cloud is doing there.
Result. A halt.
Look me in
the eye.
Birth. Your breath.
Symptom
to refrain.
Phrase. A Praise.
Open the door
to backyard.
Sleet. The sheet.
Wait your
turn in line.
It’s Spring. Love’s Spring.
A pattern
of rain.
Begin. Often.
A slit
becomes a roof.
If I asked you
a question, broken
with hesitant breath
would you listen
to the gaps as
much as the gist
and answer with equal
pause, perhaps
a means
of communion, relation
a space
untrained and tired
yet unlike the vowels
that beg you begin,
shut your teeth
with breath, with quiet
and close the space
between us
with space.
Joshua Keiter 