Today was the day we situated
the play yard around the living space
which the child decided was ripe
for launching legs and limbs in rapid
articulation from edge to edge
past the barrier to the forbidden
bare floor zone leading to the precipice
of the stairway and the kitchen
after some deliberation I decided
it was not appropriate to call it
a play yard perhaps more of an okay
corral it will make do for a child
who suddenly is unsatisfied with place
which she would replace with motion
how unlike I think as I stand in
the kitchen washing dishes scraping
bits of food she should not eat yet
I pause sobbing into the suds thinking
of the moments almost a year ago
when for thirty hours she deigned
an interregnum of motion having
determined the spot in which she had
been placed for nine months or so
perfectly suited to her situation
it was decided it was time for her
to arrive however without her immediate
consent I sat in the hallway helpless
not that I would have much to do
in either case in my fabric footies
and impromptu antiseptic attire
having no idea if she if she would be
okay if any of us would be okay
if this world she so boundlessly springs
forth into having no idea of her
destination will be okay all I can do
is wipe the rinse away and place
the dishes in their appropriated places
and collect my thoughts hoping
this space will be okay we will be okay
we will all be okay
Tag: DadPoem
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Okay Chorale
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Growing Teeth
If nothing else
let this day be remembered
for upon the uncomfortable
fitfulness of nap time
interrupted by cries
irresistible to human ears
attached to my cranium
I picked up the child
who let me become acquainted
for an hour or so with
the personification of sleep
which I in my infinite wisdom
accepted as did the cat
who insisted on joining us on my lap
-
Attachment Theory
Begins with maybe crying
for a minute when not
so long ago sleep came
without a second thought
Occasionally crawling
into distracted arms
for the presence lacking
momentarily
I’ve not been tracking
each independent milestone
except when the obvious
becomes apparent
The truth is each child
will let you know
their own mind
when they want to
They somehow know
saying goodbye
is the habit of a lifetime
and can wait
a little longer
-
Factor of Wow
At this point the position
of awe
has become her face’s default
even when encountering
something expected
in a mirror or hallway
the cats flashing their tails
during story time
a page followed by another
page ensuing in examination
of the spine
inspecting the collocation
as a matter of course
some books stay
open even when they close
their memory imprinted
like creases
increasing on either cheek
evidence of how
sometimes
the only response to suddenly
being alive is wow
-
Lullaby in Minor Key
In the back row
of the solemn service
head on my shoulders
I wonder how
to encourage my child
to not participate in Empire
that would put to death
for instance an innocent figure
associated with education.
I turn her head away
from intermittent flashing
lights through stained glass
grateful each verse
of these once a year hymns
are quiet enough to keep
her awake but still in my arms.
The words emphasize
too much individual sin.
On the drive home
I shift the rear view mirror
so that the lights
from aggressive tailgate drivers
do not interrupt her reverie
before the inevitable
overtired cries on the way
to a temporary bed.
If only evil itself
could be a gesture or
a glance away from presence.
This story gets retold
at least once a year.
-
Screen Fatigue
For a moment
staring at herself
on the screen
smiling indiscriminately
interrupted by her mother
on the other screen
at the quiet service
brings on the breakdown
twilight after the storm
she had had enough
reached maximum fun
and cried until bed
I reflected how
the lateness of the hour
changed perception
at eleven months
perhaps senses undeveloped
could comprehend
the replication of sight/sound
at a distance as only loss
in that not dissimilar to us
staring at ones and zeros
bits we keep unbidden
as approximation of life
only we have filtered
to improve appearance
these reticent tears
now with extra in person
false smiles we knew before
to keep under masks
all we have left after
so much loss unheard
seeking lullabies to comfort
us rocking sobbing gently
as shadows of the evening
streak across the sky
-
Yellow Submarine
Sometime after we had set down
the first book we gave to her with
silhouettes of boats and butterflies
in black and white that
she is still entranced by
we sat facing each other
and noticing the silence I sang
a camp song we have been singing
about hippopotamuses
at which she somewhat squealed
after a pause rather than refrain
I was inspired to sing a song
that might have been sung to me
at this age that I am sure I have
played for her at some point though
she glared at me as if either trying
to learn the song or wondering
what had gotten into me
I almost thought I forgot the lines
then remembered they are ingrained
in me and why not no matter
how much time has passed or hasn’t
the song is always with you and new
and our friends are all aboard
many more of them live next door
and the band begins to play
-
All Sing
Repeat the word repeated
in the ba- ba- ba- book
not only because every
character
sings the same refrain
but as a way
to say want, turn the cover
in her hands
front ways back ways up-
side down
hold at last planting wet
“kisses”
on the image, sealing
the sound
together with witness
this still new
body hearing infinity
in a syllable
Ah ah ah—Allelu
also with you
-
Track Changes
Still not used to getting
used to you shaping
your mouth into the shape
of awe—a new trait
while staring at our pictures
we framed to put on the wall
before you had eyes
starting to stare at us with.
We might remember
to mention this the next time
someone asks what you are
getting up to—either
that or how often we notice
how your head has grown
even after a short nap or
how often we take pictures
to stare at when you sleep.
Some of these changes
we track as they pass—
some we lose sight of
as nothing changes at all.
For all we know you were
always here waiting for us
to be ready for you
finding things that were
always there hiding underneath
now suddenly out in the open
staring in wonder at
for instance—trees.
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Semblance
So far we only leave the screensaver
playing on our TV as long as it takes
for us to remark we wish it displayed
the date the photos were taken
at any point in the past nine months or so
there are few if any previous relations
she has not so far resembled anyone
so much as myself appearing as others
in photos I have yet to scan into digital
genealogy long since discovered as
a series of digits spanning the solar system
at least while we gaze awestruck
how can so many faces intertwine
through what we experience as time?
Joshua Keiter 